February 21, 2005

Ways in which I have Recently Gotten out of Changing a Diaper

Got sick
Acted like I didn't hear the request
Feigned death
Hypothesized that the diaper would clean itself
Complained
Spilled water on myself and claimed that I had wet myself too
Left to "run an errand"
Talked like George W
Stopped, dropped, and rolled
Nothing
Wet myself
Got in the shower
Rolled over and acted like I was asleep
Answered my cell phone, which wasn't ringing
Fell to the floor and acted like I hurt myself
Started talking gibberish and making obscene hand gestures
Changed the subject
Pointed out how other babies don't get their diapers changed as frequently, so why should we shelter her from the realities of the world
Shook my money maker

Pedro saved iamdiddy's tweet, "One of the greatest weaknesses in most of us is our lack of faith in ourselves. – L. Tom Perry" as a favorite (Jan 10 - 4:40 AM)
Pedro tweeted, "@mrgan Extra vowels are for weeirdos." (Jan 9 - 5:41 PM)
Pedro tweeted, "@mrgan Which Zojirushi do you have? Is it worth the price?" (Jan 5 - 2:53 PM)
Pedro tweeted, "@garrettmurray THAT JUST GIVES YOU A CHANCE TO GET IT ON IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN WHICH IS THE POWER WHAT WERE YOU THINKING" (Jan 4 - 6:08 PM)
Pedro tweeted, "@danielpunkass I know. It's not my first day (or election) following you on twitter." (Jan 4 - 7:02 AM)
Pedro tweeted, "@danielpunkass Not a single one, since they've all already lied before. It's not like we Mormons are perfect. Maybe the Iowan ones are." (Jan 4 - 6:53 AM)
Pedro tweeted, "(Insert joke here about any of the personal care things I haven't done ALL YEAR.)" (Jan 1 - 2:40 PM)