April 2005 Archives

Some Utah drivers are special. There are just a couple things that have come to my attention lately which I want to address.

Let's start this out with a couple of words, and I want you to say them out loud. Listen carefully to yourself as you say each of the words. We'll discuss these pronunciations later.

• Playing Twister
• Watching out the peep-hole of the door and saying "oh, guess who's coming!"
• Playing "Ring around the Rosy" around the urn
• Reenacting the person's death
• Playing the game Operation
• Coming dressed like the grim reaper
• Urn football

(the previous, longer title was "Words which my Wife Thinks our 5 Month Old Daughter has Said, but is Probably just Babbling and other Random Noises")

• Mama
• Wub
• Bub

(let's be honest here, she only says any of these things while she's crying, and to her they're just noises, but whatever)

We've all seen it, experienced it, or perhaps performed it - a bad high five. There is something about this form of communication that is special. It's not special like the riders of the short bus, nor special like a first kiss, but special like unique. Sure, there is an episode of Seinfeld (#167) in which Jerry describes high fives as the most primate form of male communication. I tend to agree with that as well, but every now and then, a high five is an acceptable form of communication.

The Metric system is handy when dealing with science. It can be twisted and turned and it all relates to itself in so many ways. It really is pretty cool. The Standard (American) System is uh… handy too I suppose. It makes you seem fatter though, since you're not just 80 kilos, you're 176 pounds. 80 isn't that bad, but 176?! Whoa! Anyway, they're both standardized systems, and they're handy and whatnot.

My grandmother has things down right AT LEAST in one area (and several others to be honest), and as you might guess, that would be in leaving messages on an answering machine. I have learned from her style, and I just don't understand why others can't do it as well.

In a collaborative effort, a good friend of mine and I have created some guidelines for those of you who might not have clued in on the social hints of what is and is not acceptable in the Men's Restroom. This should be known, from now until we notify you otherwise, to be official. Please abide by it, or start doing your business elsewhere. There are trees outside of most buildings.

We have four elevators at work, three full sets of stairs (that go all the way up/down the building) and one spiral set of stairs that just goes perfectly from the first floor to the second in the middle of a huge atrium area that incorporates those same two floors.

This challenge is best accomplished with a friend doing it at the same time. The concept isn't that hard to follow, but there are a few guidelines, which can be bent or broken depending on the pre-arranged agreement.

If I just met you for the first time, I would be happy to shake your hand, given that you had a hand to be shaken. I'm not talking about an overt attempt to remove your hand by psychotic shaking. I'm referring to the general gripping of a hand in a friendly/business-like manner and acknowledging that I am aware of your presence.

Did you know that you can fit an entire ream of paper in the printer paper tray at my work? Seriously, it's possible. I would imagine that it was designed that way. It's smart, there isn't any fumbling with half-reams, or guesstimating the amount of paper that can fit into the tray.

Not every baby is cute. Most babies when they're really little, like newborn size, are actually pretty ugly. This is a common thing, and shouldn't upset anybody. However, shortly after this phase, they enter the stage in which they might or might not be cute. Now enters the adjective in question.

There is a fridge in my area at work. It is a community fridge and everybody is allowed to use it as they see fit. Now the stereotype for the workplace fridge is for them to get totally nasty and gross and essentially useless. That is not the case with this fridge. People, for the most part, do a good job at maintaining the contents of the fridge and not to let things get out of hand.

I'm not sure that I see the real point in wearing all black. Now I'm not talking about wearing one of those oh-so-famous "little black dresses" with some black shoes. I'm talking about black pants, black shirt, black jacket/coat, black shoes, black belt (not Chuck Norris style here), black earrings, black _______.

This is a copy of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame's 500 songs that shaped rock and roll. I just wanted them all on the same page, and figured I could share.
(if you really wanted, you could get this same list from their website.)