Burnt Popcorn

The directions are right there on the bag. It tells you what to do. They're very clear and obvious, since they've probably gotten thousands of calls in the attempts to clarify and improve them. It tells you EXACTLY what to do. So why on earth do people still burn popcorn?

At work we can snack on whatever we want, really at any time. People who answers phones do it all the time as just another little thing. Popcorn is a popular food among phone answering individuals (and others as well). There are some people out there who just can't seem to get the directions down.

What's so hard to understand about "Continue until the pops are separated by 2 seconds"? Did that fourth second sneak up on you? Little challenged when it comes to saying "one-one-thousand, "two-one-thousand" (or "one-mississippi, two-mississippi")? I mean, this isn't rocket science people.

Burnt popcorn smells horrible. In an office the smell just seems to spread about as quickly as news of birthday cake. The next thing you know your nose is filled with that stench, and it lingers on and on.

Some people are in burnt popcorn denial (it ain't just a river). They refuse to admit the fact that they've waited too long on that popcorn. They say "nah, I didn't burn it, I'll still eat it." Eating burnt popcorn is even grosser than having smell it. But because they don't want to face the facts, or just admit a simple mistake, they take the bag with them back to their desk, and let that smell seep out onto everything.

Don't burn the popcorn. If anything, UNDERpop the bag, and you'll probably be better off. Not that you'll get as much food, but at least you won't have as many people thinking about how stupid you are.

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