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May 11, 2005
Non-Dog People
They act like it's an alien. The look in their face is that of pure terror. They've got a look in their eyes like, "I'm only going to do this because lots of people are watching me." They always go straight for the head, and stay there. They move their hand in really awkward movements.
There is a lot to be said for having a dog at some point in your life. I'm not saying that you always need to have a dog, nor that you're incomplete in your life if you don't have one right now. I'm saying that at some point in your life, you need to own a dog for a fairly decent length of time.
You can always spot a non-dog person. I think the most telling thing is that look in their eyes when a dog approaches. It really is a look of terror and sincere desire to run away, but the social obligation to actually act like they enjoy the dog's presence. Sure, some people can tell stories of how they've had bad experiences with dogs in the past. Some others claim that dogs just don't like them.
The truth of the matter is, you have no interest in dealing with the things, so quit acting like it. I would relate this awkwardness to some of the following:
- Trying an awkward looking food for the first time
- Seeing an alien pop out of a friend's belly
- Being asked to tie a noose
- Waking up one day to find you had been in a coma for the past 10 years
Since we've all seen (or are) somebody who isn't a dog person, lets try to give them a hand in dealing with this situation. We could entice the dog to bite the person. Have the person dip their hand in meat sauce prior to touching the dog. Play a dog whistle right when the person is about to touch the dog. Any of these actions would be a sure step in the right direction to have the person enjoy their time with that canine.