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September 9, 2005
The Comb-over
Who are they trying to fool? What is it that they're trying to hide? Do they think we've never seen a balding man before? Is it that there is some sort of secret alien-communications tool stealthily covered by that hair? Yes, we can all tell that the hair is really growing on one side of your head, and you're trying to cover up the middle of that chrome dome.
Part of the problem comes when you start talking about hiding things that are obvious. I have recently talked about Ignoring the Issue, and you could say that this falls right in there. You can't deny the fact that your hair line isn't all that it used to be. It'd be silly of you to act like you've got as full of a head of hair as before. Just cut it the same length you always have, and don't worry about it.
To cut just a bit of slack for people, I'm not exactly balding, so I'm not speaking from experience. Currently I have a full and very healthy head of hair. Judging by my grandfathers it's not looking like I'm going to go completely bald any time soon. So I'll cut a bit slack for those who are losing their hair, and might be in a bit of denial about it.
Instead of trying to cover up your bald spot with hair from the side of your head, try some of the following:
- Squirrel fur
- Play-dough
- Wood chips (cedar would be best)
- Yamaka
- TV Antenna
- Toupee
I would actually choose a dead yak. I could take it everywhere, especially on the airplane.