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September 9, 2005
The Slide Advancer
Sometimes when people are giving presentations to a large group of people, they aren't able to stand right by their computer to advance it to the next slide, so they use some form of electronic signaling device to advance the slides. The receiving end is attached to the computer, and by pointing it in the general direction of the computer and clicking the button, it goes to the next slide. What baffles me is that some people seem to think that their presentation is a TV and by pointing this device at the screen and clicking the button, that it will advance.
No, the screen doesn't have anything to do with your desire to advance to the next slide. No, your body convulsions that happen when you press the little button, won't help your misguided clicking. Yes, we can all see that you're aiming the device at the middle of the screen and clicking like crazy, but unfortunately for you, it won't help one bit. It only helps us place you on our mental scale of idiots of the world. You're one step closer to that peak. Good job.
To help you better understand what you're doing, and something that might be comparable, your pointing the slide advancer at the screen is like plugging in the fridge, and wondering why the toaster isn't working. It's like putting on shoes and wondering why your head is still getting wet from the rain. You're just not treating the actual problem.
For more humorous presentations, it might be nice for you to point the advancer at some of these things:
- Your forehead
- Somebody in the front row
- The ceiling
- Your butt
- A passing bird
- Imaginary items that need to be zapped
- The computer