Longbored Surfer

2005.12.12 Large Red Bows

Currently on TV there are ads running by Infiniti Lexus where people are debating over what they should get a loved one for Christmas. Somebody is somewhere, looking at a variety of something (like a dude in a jewelry shop looking at the obvious). In some fairy-tale land with which I don't associate myself, random over-sized bows are placed conveniently on something which happens to give the person some sort of epiphany to what they should buy. Unfamiliar as I am with any place that actually has gift bows the size of cars, these commercials are totally stupid.

The commercials end up going down like this: They stand there for a bit debating over unreasonable and boring choice #1, and then look at lame and unimaginably anti-climatic choice #2. Out of desperation to not be in such a stupid commercial, they end up scanning around for SOMETHING that might save them from the situation. Miraculously the camera spots a car, conveniently positioned directly below (so it looks like it's touching) a bow the size of Andre the Giant in the fetal position.

Bright and overly yellow light bulbs illuminate the area around the person's head as they oh-so-wisely tap their temple in that, "I've just come up with an idea which is more brilliant than these light bulbs" way. Without further ado, the smoke-infested and slightly eerie voice comes over the screen to tell about some lame promotion which you can only get for the next limited amount of time.

It might just be that I'm unfamiliar with life forms on planet Bigbow, but I just don't see ANY bows of that size anywhere. So the fact that one has been positioned on top of a gate to a yard, and another on top of a mailbox, must mean that I don't know bow. Bow doesn't know my neighborhood. (Pardon the 90's Nike advertising campaign throwback).

Unsure if anybody is very familiar with the movie "Crazy People" (IMDB link), I'll enlighten to the point of importance. An advertising exec ends up being put in a mental institution for publishing ads that he made while it was late at night and he was goofing around. Later it was found that the advertising style was wildly accepted and popular, and so this dude ends up staying in the loony bin to make more ads, but with his fellow patients. At one point they advertise for Jaguars, and explain that they're cars for men who actually just want women (I'll spare the full reason), not because the car is really all that great. I'm curious what would drive an automobile company to encourage lame ads like the ones currently on TV.

They could just save a lot of time by saying "Buy an Infiniti a Lexus, because they cost a lot, and you want your neighbors and coworkers to think more of you." Just spare us the Andre the Giant sized bows.

Tag(s): soap_box

Blog Home