Blog entries tagged "lists"
- Billy the Springtime Badger
- Fred the Rabid Easter Ferret
- Arty the Anaconda
- Betty the Beautiful Black Widow
- Larry the Fun-Loving Lobster
- Ronald McDonald
- Freeway overpasses
- Freightliners
- Sky scrapers
- Oil tankers
- Glaciers
- Atomic clocks
- Fully assembled crystal chandeliers
- Richard Branson
- Got sick
- Acted like I didn't hear the request
- Feigned death
- Hypothesized that the diaper would clean itself
- Complained
- Spilled water on myself and claimed that I had wet myself too
- Left to "run an errand"
- Talked like George W
- Stopped, dropped, and rolled
- Nothing
- Wet myself
- Got in the shower
- Rolled over and acted like I was asleep
- Answered my cell phone, which wasn't ringing
- Fell to the floor and acted like I hurt myself
- Started talking gibberish and making obscene hand gestures
- Changed the subject
- Pointed out how other babies don't get their diapers changed as frequently, so why should we shelter her from the realities of the world
- Shook my money maker
- Work overtime
- Continue to work for my boss
- Cubicle Yoga
- Read a memo about TPS reports
- Eat off of the bathroom floor
- Listen to my co-worker who thinks he hung the moon
- Stop giving my I'm-bored-out-of-my-mind look
- Take down my Homestar Runner and Incredibles figurines
- My job
- Act like I care
- Get suckered into a conversation about politics
- Stop updating my resume daily
- Act my age
- Show up earlier than I do
- Update my calendar for others to see
- Eat the cafeteria food
- Take out my headphones so I can actually hear you
- Convince myself that my boss isn't full of it
- Change more than 50% of the diapers
- Watch Bed of Roses
- Act like I cared about what happened on Oprah today
- Make dinner AND do the dishes… again
- Be home alone with our hungry baby, without my earplugs
- Act like the guy on Channel 2 News is anything but an idiot
- Watch Steel Magnolias
- Take turns breastfeeding the baby
- Care about politics
- Let the fathead who visits his 50 year old girlfriend downstairs park in my parking spot again
- Vacuum
- Buy another set of placemats that we won't use unless my in-laws visit
- Watch Sewing with Nancy
- Sit through another pathetic hour of comments about pork fat and BAM
- Not get upset when the toilet gets flushed while I'm in the shower
- Stop pushing the snooze button
- Buy the local sad excuse for Mexican food