Longbored Surfer

2005.05.20 Weatherman Hair

Why do some weathermen/meteorologists feel obligated to do their hair the way they do? They usually do it the exact same way every single day - which is generally in that stiff-as-a-rock-because-I-use-a-whole-bottle-of-hairspray-to-make-it-look-this-"wonderful" mode. I've got some ideas for them on how they could improve things.

I've got short hair. Every few months or so I buzz my head, leaving my hair looking close enough to a beaver pelt that I fool myself sometimes. It takes me as much time to do my hair in the morning as it does to dry it off when I get out of the shower. I might run my hands through it to have it aimed in the correct general direction. So when it comes to hair, it's not like I'm a pro myself, but at least I'm not stuck in the 80's with my bottle of hairspray.

What I think they should do is vary their hair style depending on the weather that they're about to forecast. We all know that they peer into their deep crystal ball (also known as weather models on the computer) to see what the weather is supposedly going to be. Many times they're completely wrong, but many times they get it right. If they know that the weather is going to be a certain way, then they should show their dedication to that prediction, and change up their hair too

Weatherman forecasts and their corresponding hair styles:

  • Rain - Soaking Wet (or completely greasy) lying straight down on their head
  • Freezing Rain - Spiky, as if their head were covered by upside-down icicles
  • Snow - poofy, veeeeery poofy, like nice little snow drifts on their head
  • Hot - just shave it off, or at least put on one of those head covers that makes it LOOK like you've shaved it off
  • Windy - use a ton of hairspray to make it all stick out in one direction, preferably to the side
  • Humid/Foggy - Straight down, no curling iron for you.

Imagine the further possibilities with the combination of those conditions. They'd be free to experiment as they see fit. I think more people would tune in to see the news if they had something like that to look forward to. It certainly would bring more interest to things than your current hair style. Seriously though, is your hair right now even REAL? I swear that it's the same every single day.

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