Links tagged "foodforthought"
I'd prefer to title this "How to be Considerate", but even with its title as-is, it's worth reading.
People silently struggle from all kinds of terrible things. They suffer from depression, ambition, substance abuse, and pretension. They suffer from family tragedy, Ivy-League educations, and self-loathing. They suffer from failing marriages, physical pain, and publishing. The good thing about politeness is that you can treat these people exactly the same.
This is not a world where you can simply express love for other people, where you can praise them. Perhaps it should be. But it’s not. I’ve found that people will fear your enthusiasm and warmth, and wait to hear the price. Which is fair. We’ve all been drawn into someone’s love only to find out that we couldn’t afford it. A little distance buys everyone time.
He goes on to list empathy as an effect of this "politeness". I'm not sure if it's a result of it, or a cause for it. We can all be a bit nicer. A bit more patient. A bit more understanding. A little slower to pass judgement. A bit more thoughtful. A bit more considerate. #
What a fascinating story. I have displayed anti-social tendencies at times, but obviously nothing to this extent. Additionally, I doubt I could keep away from people that long, nor survive one winter in Maine in a tent - let alone 27.
Get enough sleep.
Sound advice for any of us. #
In 11 experiments involving more than 700 people, the majority of participants reported that they found it unpleasant to be alone in a room with their thoughts for just 6 to 15 minutes.
Moreover, in one experiment, 64 percent of men and 15 percent of women began self-administering electric shocks when left alone to think. These same people, by the way, had previously said they would pay money to avoid receiving the painful jolt
What a fascinating set of results. As a personal fan of journaling, and the forced introspection that provides, I find it baffling that people don't value (and take) the time to look inward. A couple more tidbits:
But you can’t solve or let go of problems if you don’t allow yourself time to think about them. It’s an imperative ignored by our culture, which values doing more than thinking and believes answers are in the palm of your hand rather than in your own head.
... Hard as they sometimes are, negative feelings are a part of everyone’s life, arguably more so if you are crazy busy. But it’s those same deep and troubling feelings, and how you deal with them, that make you the person you are. While busyness may stanch welling sadness, it may also limit your ability to be overcome with joy.
Have I mentioned how much I love Day One (iOS/OS X)? Because you should know I love it. #
Great, simple advice:
How many times do I stop making something because I fear it will never be perfect? How easy is it to forget the joy of the process of making? For me, these two things happen far too frequently, but I want to reclaim some of the childlike innocence in just making something and showing it off, for no other reason than I’m proud of it. #
I read this article a while ago, and was initially thrown off by the title, and even the opening line. I proceeded to be completely drawn in by his message. Despite having read it months ago, I thought of it again recently, and figured I should share it.
In marriage, losing is letting go of the need to fix everything for your partner, listening to their darkest parts with a heart ache rather than a solution. It's being even more present in the painful moments than in the good times. It's finding ways to be humble and open, even when everything in you says that you're right and they are wrong. It's doing what is right and good for your spouse, even when big things need to be sacrificed, like a job, or a relationship, or an ego. It is forgiveness, quickly and voluntarily. It is eliminating anything from your life, even the things you love, if they are keeping you from attending, caring, and serving. It is seeking peace by accepting the healthy but crazy-making things about your partner because, you remember, those were the things you fell in love with in the first place. It is knowing that your spouse will never fully understand you, will never truly love you unconditionally—because they are a broken creature, too-and loving them to the end anyway.
It's a great article, and certainly has some pointers for how I could improve as a spouse. #
An interesting, extended example of her own regret on a tattoo, but how regret should impact the rest of us:
"If we have goals and dreams and we want to do our best, and if we love people and we don't want to hurt them or lose them, we should feel pain when things go wrong. The point isn’t to live without any regrets, the point is to not hate ourselves for having them… We need to learn to love the flawed, imperfect things that we create, and to forgive ourselves for creating them. Regret doesn't remind us that we did badly — it reminds us that we know we can do better."
Well said. #
Susan puts out there a couple points that rang true with me - put a stop the need for constant group work (it's okay at times, but it doesn't need to be the norm). Also, we should each take time to go to our own proverbial wilderness to have our own revelations, or deep thinking.
Personality-wise, I've tested as both an introvert and extrovert (and each time I felt like it described me well). With that in mind, Susan introduced a word to me which describes me well - ambivert. This somewhat temperamental existence doesn't always sit well with my extroverted friends or family members. I'm curious about Susan's fairly new book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking. I'll add it to my list of books to read or listen to. #
Mahatma Gandhi originally referred to these as "seven social sins", and later said this list contained "the seven blunders that human society commits, and that cause all violence."
- Wealth without work.
- Pleasure without conscience.
- Knowledge without character.
- Commerce without morality.
- Science without humanity.
- Worship without sacrifice.
- Politics without principles.
I'd love a nice letterpress print of these, hanging on my wall as a reminder. #
"Instead of sitting at your computer, and looking at books, go...and sit there. The way to get an interesting idea is to go to the source. Stay there until you have thought of something interesting about [it]. Then, listen to that idea and it will design itself." - Bob Gill #
Last week I finally watched this presentation by Bret Victor. Although he's not a very engaging presenter, his content is impeccable. I think the geeky demos are cool, and his personal modus operandi is interesting. Overall, the purpose of his presentation to find a guiding principal, or not to. You choose. #