The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @longbored ever

January 18th, 2012

@danielpunkass Congratulations! It’s always an amazing experience. Good luck with Henry’s trying-to-figure-out-this-new-change-to-the-family

via Tweetbot for iOS in reply to danielpunkass

I’m done with these jokes. I promise. (I reserve the right to go back on this promise later today when I think I’m funny again.)

via Twitter for Mac

badbanana Just read a bunch of your SOPA jokes and now I’m in favor of Internet censorship.

via Twitter for iPad (retweeted on 11:06 AM, Jan 18th, 2012 via Twitter for Mac)

Rainbows are a product of unicorn tears, solar flares, and a troupe of traveling midgets.

via Twitter for Mac

U2’s fifth studio album was originally called “That funky looking plant we’ve seen in the desert”.

via Twitter for Mac

“The Three Musketeers” by Alexandre Dumas is about a group of friends with an addiction to mediocre candy bars.

via Twitter for Mac

@willie Perfect candidate, just don’t skip the fry sauce. ;)

via Twitter for Mac in reply to willie

@willie I’m not sure if I should retweet that response or not.

via Twitter for Mac in reply to willie

@willie For sure. I nearly un-followed someone because of all their retweets, but once I “Turn[ed] off Retweets” for them, they’re fine

via Twitter for Mac in reply to willie

@willie You can just block somebody’s retweets on Twitter, and it _should_ filter down to the client… Not good enough for you?

via Twitter for Mac in reply to willie

cliftonlabrum The first LASIK pitch meeting:

“We can shoot lasers into people’s eyes to make them see better.”

“Don’t waste my time. Next!”

via Tweetbot for iOS (retweeted on 7:17 AM, Jan 18th, 2012 via Twitter for Mac)