Longbored Surfer

2005.12.14 No Mating on the Ark

Let's just say that you're tasked with gathering a male and female of every species in the world. Put them all onto a huge boat type device. Float around for a hundred and fifty days while the rest of the earth's population gets wiped out. You and seven other people are supposed to clean up after these animals, and make sure they have enough food for the whole time. Maybe it's just me, but there had to be some rules when this all went down. I would imagine that number one was "no mating".

Rabbits have a gestation period of 30 days. In each litter there are around five to eight future parents. Shortly thereafter, they're off to the races. Granted, rabbits are the most notorious in their reproductive habits, but it's all just to support a point. I don't want to know how many dogs were in heat, or what sort of noises an elephant might make during such an activity.

It had to be a tight squeeze on the ark. Noah probably wasn't in the best mood for the whole thing. Who knows how long it rained, or how many sunny days there were. He might have had seasonal depression disorder, and then he really would have been in a pickle. His favorite fast food joint got wiped out in the flood, he's stuck on a boat with his 3 sons, their wives, his own wife, and he's 600 years old. Not exactly the time to have to worry about what to do with extra rabbits. I'm sure the lions could have used a little snack, but that's beside the point. With the tight quarters, and bad moods flying around, it probably would have been best for everybody to mind their own business.

The publicity about the rule had to be fairly wide spread. I can see the sign with the silhouetted animals with a red circle and line through it. For those unfamiliar with those type of signs, they probably had it in a few other languages. I think it would best be communicated in the language of any of the predators, since most of the prey understand clearly when told "I'm about to take a bit out of your hind quarters". You can't forget the Braille, since the bats needed to read it too.

Noah might have been thinking "150 days?! This is one rule I can't support", but at 600, he probably could easily take a breather.

Tag(s): soap_box

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