Union of Merry Phone Answerers - UMPA - Some people who answer phones look like oompa-loompas. Actually, in general some people do, and I'm sure some of them answer phones for a living. I know that not everybody who answers a phone is 'merry', but who cares. This union would undoubtedly have a catchy theme song, and your sympathy would go out to them. The real kicker would be to have one of the smaller union members be the spokesman, and in every commercial tragically fall into a raging group of costume and make-up artists, transforming them into an oompa-loompa. That'd be sweet. They'd probably have some pretty killer benefits, probably involving chocolate rivers and everlasting gobstoppers.

Collectors of Refuse Associated by Professionalism - CRAP - Despite a probable uphill battle in the advertising area, this union would be perfect. The acronym certainly wouldn't improve the job image, but at least they could pull out some nice benefits.

Other areas that I think should be unionized, even though I can't think of a clever name:

• Taco Assemblers
• Movie Ticket Takers
• Flower Delivery People
• Lettuce Pickers