From what I can tell, every three-ring binder is exactly the same. The holes are always spread the same distance apart. There are always three of them, and they don't move depending on the mood of the day.

This mentally inhibited person adjusts the middle hole on the three-hole punch to be ever so slightly off. I'd like to know what binder they're putting this paper in that needs the middle hole to be off-center. They also adjust the paper guide thing. This thing makes it so that the three holes are in the right place in relation to the paper itself. Do you need your holes to be higher than everybody else's? Do you want your paper to stick out of the top or bottom of the binder?

Why some idiot feels obligated to come along and adjust it is beyond me. If you're trying to just punch two holes, then use a two-hole punch, not the three-hole punch. Do I need to get into a math lesson of how two is less than three?

You're probably the same idiot who feels obligated to change the settings on somebody else's computer when you go to use it for 10 minutes. It's also not your chair, so don't touch the little levers that do all of those things. Do you know how much time it sometimes takes people to get their settings just right?

A three-hole punch isn't special. It worked for the person who used it before, so do us all a favor - don't adjust the settings.

Other things three-hole punch adjusters probably feel obligated to adjust:

• Fax machine paper tray
• Toaster's perfectly placed browning adjuster
• Printer settings
• Lights in a pre-dimmed room
• Copier manual feed tray
• Temperature on thermostat that says "Do not touch!"

You, my friend, are an idiot. If it's not broken, don't fix it. Please proceed to fix yourself prior to fixing anything else. That way at least we won't have your offspring running around doing the same thing for generations to come.