To preface my statement, let me make sure that only a country as fat as we are would think of a device such as the drive-through. "No need to get up, you can get fatter from where you are." I've driven in reverse through one, I've pushed a car through one, I've been on a bicycle going through one, I've tried to walk up to one. I have been the same car through one two times in a row. I have used, and continue to use them.

The stereotype is that you don't exactly have to be the smartest cookie in the jar to work at one of these fine places, but let's be honest here… can you at LEAST make them actual words. This whole "Drive-Thru" thing is dumb. Do you know the difficulties that you give to immigrants as they try to distinguish between the intelligent and retarded natives?

I used the topic at hand this weekend and was instructed by the magical voice from the box to "Go ahead and order when you're ready." I examined the menu, searching for the culinary delight which would dance upon my palette. All of 5 seconds later, the magical voice repeated the same exact line as before (albeit with more irritation).

"I'm not ready yet, which is why I haven't ordered." Now, fearing that somebody might very well land a nasal-cavity-originated object in my food, I proceeded shortly thereafter to order my food. The attendant was not very happy when I reached the window, and nearly dropped my food in her haste to be through with working with me.

If you tell me to order when I'm ready, and I haven't yet ordered, wouldn't it lead you to believe that I'm not ready? Call me Sherlock Holmes, but that one doesn't seem like too much of a mystery to be solved.

I'll admit now that I'm ready to talk about various institutions which should implement this wonderful system known as a "drive-through".

• Convenience Stores
• Female Escort Services
• Clothing Stores
• Labor & Delivery
• Post Office
• Body Piercing & Tattoos
• Hair Cuts
• Plastic Surgery

If we're going to be lazy about it, lets take full advantage of it. I mean, I can get my slurpee while gazing at the various ladies who could accompany me, pick out a new shirt just before she gives birth, send off the announcements, get the child's name tattooed on my arm and shave my head, then get liposuction to ease my troubles. I wouldn't want to be rushed in that process, so please ask me to order when I'm ready.