Blog entries tagged "home"
I attempt to deliver my answer to my father. He has gone MIA and found himself on a golf course and not answering phone calls until after the round.
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I got a phone call from my father, who tells me that he's got a sweet and sour story for me. In short, he wants me to get in contact with Alec so that he can find out if Alec would be interested in making an insane trip to Philadelphia the coming weekend. The Amazing Race is having an open casting call in Philadelphia for Season 8, and they want families of four to participate. It has been established that the four that they want to participate are my father, sister, brother, and my uncle.
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- Seriously, do I even need a list for this? Have you seen where your dog's tongue has been lately?
- Got sick
- Acted like I didn't hear the request
- Feigned death
- Hypothesized that the diaper would clean itself
- Complained
- Spilled water on myself and claimed that I had wet myself too
- Left to "run an errand"
- Talked like George W
- Stopped, dropped, and rolled
- Nothing
- Wet myself
- Got in the shower
- Rolled over and acted like I was asleep
- Answered my cell phone, which wasn't ringing
- Fell to the floor and acted like I hurt myself
- Started talking gibberish and making obscene hand gestures
- Changed the subject
- Pointed out how other babies don't get their diapers changed as frequently, so why should we shelter her from the realities of the world
- Shook my money maker
- Change more than 50% of the diapers
- Watch Bed of Roses
- Act like I cared about what happened on Oprah today
- Make dinner AND do the dishes… again
- Be home alone with our hungry baby, without my earplugs
- Act like the guy on Channel 2 News is anything but an idiot
- Watch Steel Magnolias
- Take turns breastfeeding the baby
- Care about politics
- Let the fathead who visits his 50 year old girlfriend downstairs park in my parking spot again
- Vacuum
- Buy another set of placemats that we won't use unless my in-laws visit
- Watch Sewing with Nancy
- Sit through another pathetic hour of comments about pork fat and BAM
- Not get upset when the toilet gets flushed while I'm in the shower
- Stop pushing the snooze button
- Buy the local sad excuse for Mexican food