2005.02.21 Things at my Desk at Work that I Haven't Used in a While, and Might be Growing Something Unwanted

• Plastic cup with a half inch of water
• Pringles Can - Sweet Mesquite BBQ Flavor
• Torengos Can - Splash of Salsa Flavor
• 5 inch rusted iron star, not communist based
• Bottled water container from a bumpy airline flight
• Candy canes, 4 colored, 6 standard
• Plastic cup labeled "DON'T TOUCH, NO TOQUES, NE PIPKAJ, NE DIRAJ, THIS IS A SCIENCE EXPERIMENT." with mixture of Cherry Coke, Water, Caffeine Free Diet Coke, Arby's Horsey Sauce, and bread crumbs (sealed closed with clear packing tape, and straw hole packed with the bandage from my arm when I gave blood a few months ago).
• Cinnamon Gum under desk on right side from last peon who sat here.

2005.02.21 My BS Staff Meetings

Originally titled: Words that Tell me that my Staff Meeting has gotten to the point of a Bunch of People Acting Like they know what they're Talking About

• Strategy
• Taxonomy
• Template
• Portal
• Methodology
• Curriculum
• Progress
• Compliance
• Develop
• Server
• Module
• Objective
• Sales
• Define
• Plan
• Initiative
• Metrics
• Blueprint
• Philosophy
• Framework
• Agreement
• Analyze
• Progress

2005.02.21 Intelligent E-Mail Titles from My Boss in the Past Week

• Geriatric Happiness…

2005.02.21 Comments at Work Lately Which Could Easily have been Misunderstood if Taken out of Context

• It was actually very nice, considering it was my first time.
• I prefer it when done with peanut butter.
• Despite our previous conjectures that the adjustment might make little difference, I see a very large improvement with even such a small enhancement.
• When the third person comes, it will be much more productive.
• No, I'm fixed.
• Have you tried that with somebody else?
• Try taking off the protection.
• More RAM would be nice.
• You're fired.