The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @longbored ever

November 2014

@rands Even by your Christmas surfing ability?

via Tweetbot for iΟS in reply to rands

Someone’s shirt caught on fire at Thanksgiving dinner today, and I put out the fire with my bare hands. True story. (They’re unharmed.)

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@DavidStensrud “You sure do have a weird interpretation of what ‘thanks’ is. Don’t give me THAT.”

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@cottonbureau I put the bags vertically, and put a bunch of hot water in there. I’m sure it’ll work out just fine. Thanks for the help!

via Tweetbot for Mac in reply to cottonbureau

@cottonbureau I sure hope this random culinary advice from a high-quality t-shirt company doesn’t fail me now. flic.kr/p/qdakua

via Tweetbot for iΟS in reply to cottonbureau

I should probably stop playing now. Mad Wizard is my favorite, then Floppy Fish and Poopy Pigeon. So simple. So well done.

via Tweetbot for iΟS in reply to longbored

@cottonbureau I have to make mashed potatoes for 54 people. Help?

via Twitterrific

@PatrickRothfuss I’ve said it each time you’ve asked (maybe I should stop responding) - Lonesome Dove, read by Lee Horsley.

via Tweetbot for iΟS in reply to PatrickRothfuss

@getkirby I did, and am clearly not smart enough to convert my usage of the 1.0 search plugin to this.

via Tweetbot for iΟS in reply to getkirby

@getkirby A blog post around how to use the new search functionality in K2. I’m deadlocked in my upgrade without it.

via Tweetbot for iΟS in reply to getkirby

Gogurts recursively lead to depression eating of Gogurts recursively lead to depression eating of Gogurts recursively lead to depression eat

via Twitter Web Client

Water heater pilot light went out, meaning no hot water for now… then learned that the youngest had turned off the freezer at some point.

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To all firemen who wave and smile to my little boy, or turn on your engine’s lights and siren for him - thank you. Really.

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@MenInBlazers Why isn’t Cake’s “War Pigs” song the official song of the show? itunes.apple.com/us/album/war-p… cc\@rogbennett, @embassydavies

via Twitter Web Client

It’s not “acrossed”. It’s “Across”. Say it with me… “Across”. Good. Say it again… “Across”.

via Twitter Web Client

Nothing says “Totally Relevant and Super Popular Musical Artist” like falling and getting hurt. I mean, giving away your album for free.

via Twitter Web Client

@DavidStensrud I think it would have gone better had I not started pushing everybody over, and running out to the 14° weather.

via Tweetbot for Mac in reply to DavidStensrud

@longbored “What else did you have to do? I mean, you were just laying around, like a lazy bum.”

via Tweetbot for Mac in reply to longbored

“BEEEEP BEEEEP BEEEEP BEEEEP BEEEEP BEEEEP BEEEEP BEEEEP BEEEEP BEEEEP” -my smoke alarms just now for no reason at all

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FACT: it’s impossible for anyone to combine the remains of 3 kinds of cereal and have it taste good.

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OH: “That’s like a meat-lover’s hotdog.”
<beat />
“Aren’t they all?”

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Programming books at their finest: “However, the error numbers are not reliable, so you should not rely on them.”

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@willie I use a red-filtered adjustable-brightness headlamp and skip all blue-based lighting/lit devices. Bonus: it works with books too.

via Tweetbot for iΟS in reply to willie

I’ve been at a swim meet for the past hour and a half, and nobody has introduced themselves to me. Maybe a smaller speedo will help?

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Siri Google why is my alarm shattered on the floor right now oh never mind it’s the weekend I know why cancel

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@cliftonlabrum @cameronmoll Then Clifton, I’d suggest you don’t watch this video… for your own financial security. youtube.com/watch?v=FrGFjA…

via Twitter Web Client in reply to cliftonlabrum

What’s the most number of donuts one person is supposed to eat in a day? Asking for a friend.

via Twitter Web Client

Mario on his shrink’s couch, “I mean, how would you feel if you jumped the exact same height as an adult as you did when you were smaller?”

via Twitter Web Client

@MenInBlazers “Give me a haircut while you close your eyes, and I promise your wife won’t sleep with me again.”

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@MenInBlazers “Give me a cross between a military ‘high and tight’ and a mullet. Except with even less class, if that’s even possible.”

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@MenInBlazers A cross between a beaver pelt and a lobotomy prep.

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