The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @longbored ever

April 2018

@simoncholland Sounds like a future player for the Shamrock Rovers.

(An actual team…)

via Tweetbot for Mac in reply to simoncholland

@darth my fren i know melon can be awful but if you trust me on only one thing you should try lime on honeydew it c..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…W1

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@an_gremlin Are you looking for Kevin from The Office?

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@willie $5 if you run in place while on top of those, shoving one out each pace. $10 if you don’t fall while doing..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…79

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Obviously desperate - I’m willingly eating banana chips.

At least they’re better than sweet potato chips.

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@CAVandy @Coudal @darth (If you’re looking for more great long-tie memes, @TrumpsTies does a great job, too. But I..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…ZM

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@SamuelHPlummer “Only using Twitter because of a recent job mandate.”

(It’s okay. You don’t have to post these. They won’t fire you.)

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@waxpancake My (texted) proposed joke attire for a serious shirt/tie event now turns into a not so funny birthday g..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…Y2

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“Although I’m sorry about burning your house to the ground, I’m not so sorry that I wouldn’t burn another giant pile of tumbleweeds again.”

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@darth If this video showed the correct dancing dog at the appropriate moment, I would have lost it. twitter.com/karaweeks_/sta…

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“… and we also brought some hotdogs and the stuff for s’mores. Fortunately, it seems we have a bit more time to r..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…O6

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“… Also, I made this other video of some neighborhood teenagers trying to climb what I called ‘Mt. Tumbleweed’. L..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…oy

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“… I also made a video of it, in case you want to watch that. Still though… I feel really bad.”

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I’d love to light that pile on fire, however… but I’d have some explaining to do when the house went up with the pitwitter.com/i/web/status/9…mFcf

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@Blazeorange Take inspiration from them - tuck and roll!

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In case you needed another reason to NOT live in High Desert of Southern California… youtube.com/watch?v=toL83V…

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i am not talking about soft pretzels here my frens those are delicious especially if u make them at home and u make..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…R5

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Pretzels - “A Twisted Path to Disappointment”™

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Apparently, somebody complained specifically about smells coming from our team of five. In a cube farm office.

🚶‍♂️💨

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I just heard somebody refer to “chickpeas” and “garbanzo beans” as if they were two separate things. Don’t @ me.

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@willie How do you know you weren’t texting yourself?

bukk.it/self-five.gif

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@AngeBassa (!!!) Congratulations! Here’s wishing for a speedy recovery and smooth transition for both of you.

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Finkle is Einhorn!! No proper holding, laces-in thanks to that lowlife quarterback!

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longbored Every day I leave my desk to use the restroom at the exact moment it’s closed for cleaning.

via Tweetbot for Mac (retweeted on 3:53 PM, Apr 10th, 2018 via Tweetbot for Mac)

Right before the Neo/Agent Smith showdown, I whistled the theme to The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.

Only time I’ve..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…Sv

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@MenInBlazers Not surprised I didn’t even get a like for this one… pic.twitter.com/iRaBq5ZLJs

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@shauninman Despite your Twitter absence, I just wanted to say “keep it up” on whatever it is that’s next. I’m looking forward to it.

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@willie Uh oh… Pedro, CSM

(But I agree)

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