The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @longbored ever

December 2017

I need your help - I’m close to finishing this resolution from 2017. I just need to lose 20 pounds in the next 9.5 hours!

via Tweetbot for Mac

@AngeBassa Sounds delicious! Is the recipe you’re using available online?

via Tweetbot for iΟS in reply to AngeBassa

If Amazon printed a catalog, I wonder what it would look like.

via Tweetbot for iΟS

My < 2 year old just called me, yelled “SUCKER”, banged the phone around, then hung up.

You’re doing a fine job at parenting.

via Tweetbot for Mac

@BrandSanderson I knew they had spikes… but that’s a unique placement of them.

via Tweetbot for Mac in reply to BrandSanderson

I missed a spot while shaving.

At least I know what I’m going to obsess over for the rest of the day.

via Tweetbot for Mac

Hey guys, I don’t mean to brag, but I just got emailed a great offer to save a bunch of money on medication.

via Tweetbot for Mac

Interesting fact: the person who speaks next in every daily (in-person) stand-up meeting is always next to the current speaker.

via Tweetbot for Mac

And ours is to put pieces of paper too small to wrap anything reasonable inside the tube, so they fall out whenever..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…e1

via Tweetbot for Mac

@simoncholland That few? So THAT’S why I gained weight.

via Tweetbot for iΟS in reply to simoncholland

bumlaser Disappointed to learn that Kenny Loggins’ Christmas album is called “December” and not “Highway To The Manger Zone”. pic.twitter.com/OeDW3pN40z

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 3:44 PM, Dec 7th, 2017 via Tweetbot for Mac)

@SpotifyCares spotify:track:6y6EFX5MsSaRYrQpOOOVTW (0:37)

via Tweetbot for Mac in reply to longbored

@utahpadre Narrator’s voice: “They will”

via Tweetbot for Mac in reply to utahpadre

@stevenf It’s like us with taxes, and the government when administrations change… except cheaper.

via Tweetbot for Mac in reply to stevenf

@SpotifyCares spotify:track:0NdcwnhSMhJbHR82PgTZ5S (0:38, 1:24)

via Tweetbot for Mac in reply to longbored

@SpotifyCares spotify:track:3uoQIZiEENqa7yEObOSakx (2:51 mark)

via Tweetbot for Mac in reply to longbored

@darth I can only imagine how today would be on Twitter if you were out of hibernation. Rest well.

via Tweetbot for Mac