@RealTimeWWII NARRATORS VOICE: They won’t.
I need your help - I’m close to finishing this resolution from 2017. I just need to lose 20 pounds in the next 9.5 hours!
@AngeBassa Sounds delicious! Is the recipe you’re using available online?
If Amazon printed a catalog, I wonder what it would look like.
My < 2 year old just called me, yelled “SUCKER”, banged the phone around, then hung up.
You’re doing a fine job at parenting.
@BrandSanderson I knew they had spikes… but that’s a unique placement of them.
I missed a spot while shaving.
At least I know what I’m going to obsess over for the rest of the day.
@willie Move the objects closer together. #NotTheRecommendationYouWereLookingFor
Hey guys, I don’t mean to brag, but I just got emailed a great offer to save a bunch of money on medication. #blessed
Interesting fact: the person who speaks next in every daily (in-person) stand-up meeting is always next to the current speaker. #fact
@Tropical_SV La sombra de la botella! 🤣
And ours is to put pieces of paper too small to wrap anything reasonable inside the tube, so they fall out whenever..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…e1
@simoncholland That few? So THAT’S why I gained weight.
bumlaser Disappointed to learn that Kenny Loggins’ Christmas album is called “December” and not “Highway To The Manger Zone”. pic.twitter.com/OeDW3pN40z
@SpotifyCares spotify:track:6y6EFX5MsSaRYrQpOOOVTW (0:37)
@utahpadre Narrator’s voice: “They will”
@stevenf It’s like us with taxes, and the government when administrations change… except cheaper.
#allthebugs
@SpotifyCares spotify:track:0NdcwnhSMhJbHR82PgTZ5S (0:38, 1:24)
@SpotifyCares spotify:track:3uoQIZiEENqa7yEObOSakx (2:51 mark)
@MenInBlazers So. much. mustard. Holy cow!
@darth I can only imagine how today would be on Twitter if you were out of hibernation. Rest well.