@rands Even by your Christmas surfing ability?
Someone’s shirt caught on fire at Thanksgiving dinner today, and I put out the fire with my bare hands. True story. (They’re unharmed.)
@DavidStensrud “You sure do have a weird interpretation of what ‘thanks’ is. Don’t give me THAT.”
@cottonbureau I put the bags vertically, and put a bunch of hot water in there. I’m sure it’ll work out just fine. Thanks for the help!
@cottonbureau I sure hope this random culinary advice from a high-quality t-shirt company doesn’t fail me now. flic.kr/p/qdakua
I should probably stop playing now. Mad Wizard is my favorite, then Floppy Fish and Poopy Pigeon. So simple. So well done.
451! New top score on #crossyroad. crossyroad.com pic.twitter.com/eub5GolmwZ
@cottonbureau I have to make mashed potatoes for 54 people. Help?
@PatrickRothfuss I’ve said it each time you’ve asked (maybe I should stop responding) - Lonesome Dove, read by Lee Horsley.
@getkirby Superstar. :)
@getkirby I did, and am clearly not smart enough to convert my usage of the 1.0 search plugin to this.
@getkirby A blog post around how to use the new search functionality in K2. I’m deadlocked in my upgrade without it.
Gogurts recursively lead to depression eating of Gogurts recursively lead to depression eating of Gogurts recursively lead to depression eat
Water heater pilot light went out, meaning no hot water for now… then learned that the youngest had turned off the freezer at some point.
To all firemen who wave and smile to my little boy, or turn on your engine’s lights and siren for him - thank you. Really.
@MenInBlazers Why isn’t Cake’s “War Pigs” song the official song of the show? itunes.apple.com/us/album/war-p… cc\@rogbennett, @embassydavies
It’s not “acrossed”. It’s “Across”. Say it with me… “Across”. Good. Say it again… “Across”.
@longbored At least it isn’t a broken hip.
Nothing says “Totally Relevant and Super Popular Musical Artist” like falling and getting hurt. I mean, giving away your album for free.
@DavidStensrud I think it would have gone better had I not started pushing everybody over, and running out to the 14° weather.
@longbored “What else did you have to do? I mean, you were just laying around, like a lazy bum.”
“BEEEEP BEEEEP BEEEEP BEEEEP BEEEEP BEEEEP BEEEEP BEEEEP BEEEEP BEEEEP” -my smoke alarms just now for no reason at all #hatehaterelationship
Spoon burgers /cc @joenobk
FACT: it’s impossible for anyone to combine the remains of 3 kinds of cereal and have it taste good.
OH: “That’s like a meat-lover’s hotdog.”
<beat />
“Aren’t they all?”
Programming books at their finest: “However, the error numbers are not reliable, so you should not rely on them.”
@beep Arial or IE 6?
@willie I use a red-filtered adjustable-brightness headlamp and skip all blue-based lighting/lit devices. Bonus: it works with books too.
I’ve been at a swim meet for the past hour and a half, and nobody has introduced themselves to me. Maybe a smaller speedo will help?
Siri Google why is my alarm shattered on the floor right now oh never mind it’s the weekend I know why cancel
@cliftonlabrum @cameronmoll Then Clifton, I’d suggest you don’t watch this video… for your own financial security. youtube.com/watch?v=FrGFjA…
@cottonbureau “loas AHN-hell-es”
What’s the most number of donuts one person is supposed to eat in a day? Asking for a friend.
Mario on his shrink’s couch, “I mean, how would you feel if you jumped the exact same height as an adult as you did when you were smaller?”
@MenInBlazers “Give me a haircut while you close your eyes, and I promise your wife won’t sleep with me again.”
@MenInBlazers “Give me a cross between a military ‘high and tight’ and a mullet. Except with even less class, if that’s even possible.”
@MenInBlazers A cross between a beaver pelt and a lobotomy prep.