The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @longbored ever

August 2015

Interesting fact: the namer of the watermelon had no tastebuds.

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Along with wishing for more wishes, I’m pretty sure another disallowed wish would be wishing for all arrays to start at 1.

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@cliftonlabrum Meh. Touch ID works for me 99%+ of the time. PEBCAi?

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@cliftonlabrum Some shrinking will happen. Despite being initially thin, they never feel like they get any thinner.

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Just met @gilbertglee, randomly, at the happiest place in Utah. What a treat.

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@shauninman Perfect bedroom art for your not-too-distant family addition? dkngstudios.com/store/press-st…

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@PatrickRothfuss “You can’t just say it.”

“I didn’t say it, I declared it.”

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Remember 3x5 cards?

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@PatrickRothfuss I think what’s different is what’s _on_ their heads, amiright? See what I did there?



I’ll show myself out.

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@strudefiles I always thought you smelled like onions.

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To all who still refuse to bow down to the tyranny of deodorant, we salute you. Wait. No. Scratch that. Reverse it. Actually, don’t scratch.

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@PatrickRothfuss We had _the talk_ tonight with a couple of our kids. Totally propagated the “myth” of man-mothers.

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@PatrickRothfuss How do you feel about bears and Battlestar Galactica?

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I’m disappointed that my @tweetbot mutes don’t work for in-person conversations.

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I just bought a season pass to @gaffiganshow on iTunes. It’s perfect TV. Well done, @JimGaffigan and @jeanniegaffigan.

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Seriously, if you opened a chest, and there was a piece of a heart inside, I doubt you’d be very happy about that.

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Really productive Saturday. Done for the year.

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