@simoncholland Sounds like a future player for the Shamrock Rovers.
(An actual team…)
@darth my fren i know melon can be awful but if you trust me on only one thing you should try lime on honeydew it c..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…W1
@an_gremlin Are you looking for Kevin from The Office?
Seemed like the easier path… twitter.com/jon_bois/statu… pic.twitter.com/ibJhcRSFHD
@willie $5 if you run in place while on top of those, shoving one out each pace. $10 if you don’t fall while doing..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…79
Obviously desperate - I’m willingly eating banana chips.
At least they’re better than sweet potato chips.
@CAVandy @Coudal @darth (If you’re looking for more great long-tie memes, @TrumpsTies does a great job, too. But I..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…ZM
@SamuelHPlummer “Only using Twitter because of a recent job mandate.”
(It’s okay. You don’t have to post these. They won’t fire you.)
@waxpancake My (texted) proposed joke attire for a serious shirt/tie event now turns into a not so funny birthday g..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…Y2
My son is wearing Slack today..pic.twitter.com/6UwTmI2Av1v1
@darth My fren… twitter.com/cabel/status/9…
“Although I’m sorry about burning your house to the ground, I’m not so sorry that I wouldn’t burn another giant pile of tumbleweeds again.”
@darth If this video showed the correct dancing dog at the appropriate moment, I would have lost it. twitter.com/karaweeks_/sta…
“… and we also brought some hotdogs and the stuff for s’mores. Fortunately, it seems we have a bit more time to r..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…O6
“… Also, I made this other video of some neighborhood teenagers trying to climb what I called ‘Mt. Tumbleweed’. L..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…oy
“… I also made a video of it, in case you want to watch that. Still though… I feel really bad.”
I’d love to light that pile on fire, however… but I’d have some explaining to do when the house went up with the pitwitter.com/i/web/status/9…mFcf
@Blazeorange Take inspiration from them - tuck and roll!
In case you needed another reason to NOT live in High Desert of Southern California… youtube.com/watch?v=toL83V…
i am not talking about soft pretzels here my frens those are delicious especially if u make them at home and u make..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…R5
Pretzels - “A Twisted Path to Disappointment”™
Apparently, somebody complained specifically about smells coming from our team of five. In a cube farm office.
🚶♂️💨
@stevenf GraphicConverter, unsurprisingly, handles this. lemkesoft.de/en/products/gr…
I just heard somebody refer to “chickpeas” and “garbanzo beans” as if they were two separate things. Don’t @ me.
@willie How do you know you weren’t texting yourself?
bukk.it/self-five.gif
@AngeBassa (!!!) Congratulations! Here’s wishing for a speedy recovery and smooth transition for both of you.
Finkle is Einhorn!! No proper holding, laces-in thanks to that lowlife quarterback!
@MyDudes_ No, my dude
longbored Every day I leave my desk to use the restroom at the exact moment it’s closed for cleaning.
Right before the Neo/Agent Smith showdown, I whistled the theme to The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.
Only time I’ve..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…Sv
Every Sunday..twitter.com/TheOnion/statu…QD
@MenInBlazers Not surprised I didn’t even get a like for this one… #crap pic.twitter.com/iRaBq5ZLJs
@MenInBlazers It seems we have a new fellow GFOP… ;) twitter.com/ConanOBrien/st…
Looking forward to buying it again! twitter.com/camposanto/sta…
@shauninman Despite your Twitter absence, I just wanted to say “keep it up” on whatever it is that’s next. I’m looking forward to it.
@willie Uh oh… Pedro, CSM
(But I agree)