@cliftonlabrum YOUR TO OPTIMISTIC
@paulmayne If it were me, I’d replace those batteries at least through next year’s WWDC.
Free: PCI-based Turbo TV 9608, which I used on my old G3 DT. Throwing it away in 3… 2… 1…
@MenInBlazers @KyleBeckerman The Dreadlock Pirate Robert
(Did you know Robert is his middle name?)
Watching an elementary school play where one kid’s “superpower” is mansplaining. (“Infoblast”)
Bleeding in a controlled fashion in exchange for snacks.
I’m not really into the whole tiny-backpacks-on-adult-males thing.
@MenInBlazers NOT [WITH] THE FACE!!
@rands Mulan
Couldn’t even finish sending the tweet without laughing.
I look forward to the day when they figure out how to render wet hair correctly, so they can go back and fix The Incredibles.
“Fiddley-I” sounds more like an ocular condition, than lyrics sung by a banjo player.
@MenInBlazers Let’s save our syllables, and just call it “Luis Hathaguay”
Peter Pantsless #RejectedThemeParkRides
Captain E.O.L. #RejectedThemeParkRides
Pirates of the Curriculum Development
#RejectedThemeParkRides
Dodgers One of our followers to retweet this tweet will win a baseball signed by Clayton #Kershaw: pic.twitter.com/QstP9aoGqY
Dodgers Clayton Kershaw was so excited about GIFs on Twitter, he threw a no-hitter: pic.twitter.com/6ZxV0uJkwz
@kaitor_k From Billboard’s site through the paid subscription option (specifically to the .biz site).
@MenInBlazers Watching my first post-game show. Having @rogbennett stare incessantly into my eyes is… making me think, “Not in the face!”
NOT IN THE FACE!!!!
@beep Is there a t-shirt with “Allow me to express that through an animated gif” with your phone changing that to “animated girlfriend”?
badbanana World Cup time. Time for that weird guy at work to really shine.
@johndilworth Sounds like you’re normal… and so is your daughter.
Just in time for the World Cup, an early birthday present from @spurcrazy. #kungfufighting cc/@MenInBlazers flic.kr/p/nUF5n5
A 3,000th tweet haiku:
Things out of context
Sometimes I attempt humor
Responses at times
Totally nailed it.
@rands When you say, “I got a new job”, I (hope I) hear, “I (re)read ‘The Business’ by @rands before I accepted the job.” Congratulations.
@beep To Doge or not to Doge?
@chockenberry I feel obligated to say something like, “DOUBLE TAP FOR THE TRUE POWER OF THE CHOCK IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, DUH”
@nicjohnson It was immensely entertaining, even from the far side of the field. And a horribly-delayed flop to boot.
🎶 “Ain’t no party like a late night vacuuming party because a late night vacuuming party sucks.” 🎶
@meyerweb So sorry for your family’s loss, and your loss, Eric. What a fighter.
@cliftonlabrum I submit that it CAN.
Wait… what?
They were good, but I’ve had better. Still, they sure look good.
Celebrated National Donut Day by making these tasty doughnuts… for dinnerl.lbs.im/1plflic.kr/p/nAHZtmvC
@Mathewh …Or cleaning up vomit from a child in an anchored booster seat.
A good summary of my Twitter timeline. pic.twitter.com/WsMaQqVwd5
Now I know why it’s so special standing in a line. But, I’m not sure if I’m lovin’ it. 🎶 Bah-duh-duh-DAH-duhhhh…🎶 REGRE#SJMcDsDs
Done standing in a line. #SJMcDs
At the front of a line. #SJMcDs
Standing in a line. #SJMcDs